Money. Success.

intangible, yet unforgettable.

Thu, 06 Dec 2007 00:39:17 GMT

The content silence of both the water and just us two was an obscure sight. Normally with constant contradictions and consistent proclamations well beyond normal indoor voices, this unfamiliar change did not egg on feelings of anxiety or any need for conversation. Every so often our eyes would catch each others; I'd smile, point at the sky and ask if she also sees the irrelevant animal-shaped cloud slowly hovering over us.

Sometimes we'd trek through the heavily wooded forest along a path so thick with growth, the only reason we walked along it still was that we had already known the way. This twisted route had eventually led to a secluded cliff against the Wisconsin River.

A year or so back, I remember us both sitting on rocks in that specific area, our eyes transfixed on this marvelously independant spider. It wasn't just merely the spider that caught our attention, though. Her web, looking intricately delicate to the touch, appeared like sliver thin silver silk just waiting to be broken. As time that day went on, we went back to our inquiries of a not-so-awkward silence ad faltered conversations.

The sun began to hide itself behind the horizon, and we packed up to retreat back to our land for the night. My friend (procrastinating, as always) stared at the broken log and jagged rock where our curious eyes were once captivated. She grabbed my arm, and my head turned to the active vortex of her full attention; the no longer forlorn spider had its victim for the day. The fly buzzed and furiously beat its wings to escape the sticky lattice, but the "oh so delicate" netting had invertebrate strength. Soon, the spider claimed her prize and scurried off to enjoy her meal.

That specific memory hasn't crossed my mind since that day. The painting Landscape with Mountains and River by Heinrich Vianden had inspired me to write my passage about this recollection, because of this ravishing view of a river, and it's fallen and rotten tree trunk so uncannily familiar to me; silence is everything.

Contrast and Compare Essay

Tue, 27 Nov 2007 08:27:31 GMT

The way these two poems compare and contrast from each other are obvious. The two genres (jazz + blues) are usually categorized together because of their usage of similar instruments. These two works in particular, however, portray inordinately different denotations, or messages. This essay response will describe the variance between the two, using the settings, actions, images, ideas, and tones the poems depict.
In "The Weary Blues", Langston Hughes describes being "Down on Lenox Avenue" one night, which is a street in New York. Meanwhile, in "Jazz Fantasia", Carl Sandburg sees "a Mississippi Steamboat" pushing through the water past him and the jazzmen as they seem to be ready to board it to leave the jovial Sandburg in the last stanza.
For actions, Langston Hughes representsthe pianist-singer for playing with slow and melodic, profound emotions; the cause of his woes being the poor man's feeling of solitude. Though "that old piano man" is downtrodden, Highes makes it clear that the man's playing gave himself a temprary escape from his misery... "Swaying to and fro on his rickety stool, he played that sad raggy tune like a musical fool. Sweet Blues!" Yet, in Sandburg's poem, he ardently convinces the jazzmen to kep playing their interminable melodies at a quick pace.. "Drum on your drums, batter on your banjoes, son on the long cool winding saxophones. Go to it, O Jazzmen."
The imagery in "The Weary Blues" renders the piano player to have immutable sorrow, drained from his years of lonliness and morbid outlook on life... "He did a lazy sway.. to the tune o' those weary blues." Be that as it may, "Jazz Fantasia"'s jauntiness, energy, and creative use of onomatopoeia really makes this poem's imagery full of life and very optimistic. The jazzmen's sense of harmony, unlike the piano man, really displays how the two poem's outlooks aontradict each other's... "..cry like a racing car slipping away from a motorcycle cop, bang-bang! You jazzmen, bang altogether.."
Langston's implied idea was that this piano man tries to play his isolation and pain away, but his attempted diversion does not help his problem, which is more intricate than that; ceasing in formidable prospect, which seems to me that his days always seem to end this way... "And far into the night he crooned that tune, the stars went out and so did the moon. The singer stopped playing and went to bed. While the weart blues echoed through his head. He slept like a rock or a man that's dead." Yet, Carl's idea was to keep persuading the jazzmen to endure their unity of euphonious tunes, with no signs of cessation; he wants to continue this feeling of euphoria in his heart and soul... "..the green lanterns calling to the high soft stars.. a red moon rides on the humps of the low river hill.. go to it, O jazzmen."
To conclude this essay, the tone for "The Weary Blues" by Langston Hughes was that the piano man, worn out and lonely, kept the tempo at a sluggish pace; yet his melodic melancholy bled his emotions and low speed together perfectly into a tune that we can all relate to at some point in our lives. Carl Sandburg's "Jazz Fantasia" set off such an upbeat exciting vibe, which was followed through the entire poem. Though, like in "The Weary Blues" we can feel depressed or alone, in "Jazz Fantasia" sometimes we can be really happy too, like being surrounded by the people you love. So, here's my essay... it took me SIX HOURS; no lies.

Wed, 09 May 2007 00:49:25 GMT

okay.. so this is what happened.

really.

i'm kind of drinkin' right now.. so i guess that explains the random ass blog including details.

yeah.

so anyway..

on saturday morning, i went with Kevo to Kenosha for his dad's birthday party. On the way there we went to a gas station and bought french vanilla coffee [which was VERY good]; and we also went to best buy and got his dad a present. when we got there we kind of left right away to go out to eat at Red Robin. Dude, that place is so amazing!!! There are pictures all over the walls [including artworks by ANDY WARHOL] and there were like, these horses like on a merry-go-round by the windows. It was tight.. Well after we came back, we sorta just chilled and played the Sceneit? game girls vs. guys. After that, while everyone was down in the basement talking or w/e, me and kevo went upstairs. Kevo got 2 oxy codones each for us and snagged two bottles of cough medicine. We took the pills, and were practically tripping the rest of the night.. We then went downstairs and played rummy 500.. and he won, because i suck badly. We were talking to his cousin michelle and we decided to go outside + continue talking there; his cousin ashley joining us a bit later for conversation. He ashed in my hair, and apologized; kissing the spot where he dropped it which was literally on the top of my head. I was sitting kind of in his legs as he sat on the cement step stoop thingy. When it was really dark, his sister drove us to his house. He told her that I was getting picked up; which i wasn't. When we went inside we kind of talked for about a halfhour, and i kind of just plain told him that i had a huge crush on him [which i do]. he replied with mutual feelings; and i told him why i liked him.. which i have many reasons, but i only told him a few. it's kind of a blur to me right now because i'm getting pretty drunk typing this shit, but i guess that i'll continue, since i have nothing else to do. so then i just started to sorta make out with him, and i think we were doing that for like thirty minutes.. Idk, I really dont feel like typing the rest. I fucked him, okay? I lost my v-card that night. why? because i fucking did. did i like it? yes! yes i did. i didn't really expect it to go down like that since i'm supposed to be celebate and all.... but wtf ever. it happened. he's a hottie; i don't care. at least i didnt give it away to some asshole who doesnt give a shit. well now i cant see him anymore [i'm going to try to anyway though] and i'm grounded without seeing friends for a week. psssh. i don't care.

and that's what happened.

:]

Iamsoveryverydrunk. XD

seeing you cry makes me feel like saying sorry.

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 19:57:13 GMT

dyed hair.

and eyes that burn like cigarettes.

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 18:28:22 GMT

Out of school.
HOORAY!
No more friends.
Sad.

I hope I don't get beat up by any mexicans at Pulaski (I'M KIDDING, MANDA!)
and I sure as hell hope it's easier than my eighth grade year.
Oh yeah, I went to a graduation party for raffael and anthony. It was fun.
Spent the night by Jessie's with Cori last night. That was nice.
fun fun. ♥

We may never fall in love again.

Tue, 30 May 2006 11:56:57 GMT

69 Questions to Start the Summer

1. Are you a relationship type person?
Most likely not.

2. Do you hate more than 3 people?
Yeah.

3. How many houses have you lived in?
Two.

4. What is your favorite candy bar?
Milky Way or Twix.. I have a thing for caramel.

5. What are your favorite shoes?
My yellow Chuck Taylors.

6. Have you ever tripped someone?
HAHAHAHAHA... Yeah.

7. What was your least favorite subject this year?
Math or Social Studies.

8. What was your favorite subject this year?
English or Reading. Pretty much the easiest, really.

9. Do you own a Britney Spears CD?
Owned. Realized she was a whore. Broke it.

10. Have you ever thrown up in public?
Not that I am aware of.

11. Name something that's always on your mind.
Jessie Erin Samolyk.

12. What is your favorite music genre?
Alternative, I suppose?

13. What is your sign?
Scorpio.

14. What time were you born?
Around three P.M.

15. Do you like beer?
It all tastes really bad.

16. Have you ever made a prank call?
Yeah, but it turned out lame.

17. What is the most embarrassing CD you own?
Lord of the Rings Return of the King soundtrack.

18. Are you sarcastic?
Pretty much.

19. What are your favorite colors?
I have a thing for Yellow, Green, and Brown.

20. How many watches do you own?
Two.

21. Summer or winter?
Summer.

22. Spring or fall?
I simply cannot choose.

23. What is your favorite color to wear?
Whatever appeals to me at the moment. Yellow?

24. sprite or coke?
Sprite.

25. What color is your cell phone?
I'm too poor for one of those. :]

26. Where is your second home?
The Land. (you'll have to know me to understand)

27. Have you ever slapped someone?
!!! =D

28. Have you ever had a cavity?
When I was three, I had seven.

29. How many lamps are in your bedroom?
None.

30. How many video games do you own?
Not too many.

31. What was your first pet?
A zebra finch. His name was Pete.

32. Have you ever had braces?
Nope.

33. Do looks matter?
Never.

34. Do you use Chapstick?
Yum.

35. Name 3 teachers from your ~~high~~ school.
Mr. Kellerman, Mrs. Tonn (Miss Ostrowski), Mrs. Woehrmann.

36. American Eagle or Abercrombie?
Neither.

37. Are you too forgiving?
Barely ever.

38. How many children do you want?
None, unless maybe it happened on accident.. Possibly... two?

39. Do you own something from Hot Topic?
Yeah.

40. What is your favorite breakfast?
Peanut Butter Captain Crunch.

41. Do you own a gun?
Do Super Soakers count?

42. Have you ever thought you were in love?
Once.

43. When was the last time you cried?
Last night.

44. What did you do 3 nights ago?
On The Land.. :]

45. When was the last time you went to Olive Garden?
Quite a while ago.. It was yummy.

46. Have you ever called your teacher mom?
It was a man teacher.. Talk about AWKWARD.

47. Have you ever been in a castle?
Magic Kingdom castle.. but all it is inside is stores.. What a gip.

48. What are your nicknames?
I don't have any, really.

49. Do you know anyone named Bertha?
Uh, no?

50. Have you ever been to Kentucky?
Not a chance.

51. Do you own something from Banana Republic?
Most certainly not.

52. Are you thinking about somebody right now?
Yeah'hm.

53. Have you ever called someone Boo?
HAHA NO.

54. Do you smoke?
Yes.

55. Do you own a diamond ring?
If I did it would have been sold/pawned by now.

56. Are you happy with your life right now?
It could be better.

57. Do you dye your hair?
Yeah.

58. Does anyone like you?
Probably not.

59. What year were you born?
1991.

60. What were you doing May of 1994?
Probably watching tv, and playing outside.

61. Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD?
Yes, but it doesn't work.

62. McDonald's or Wendy's?
Mickey D's.

63. Do you like yourself?
I try.

64. Are you closer to your mother or father?
Mother.

65. Favorite feature of ~~the opposite sex~~ another person?
Eyes.

66. Are you afraid of the dark?
Never ever.

67. Have you ever eaten paste?
Probably.

68. Do you have a webcam?
No siree.

69. Have you ever stripped?
Haha. Uh, NO.

My itty bitty fwend.

Thu, 11 May 2006 22:33:21 GMT

You are red, violent red.

Wed, 03 May 2006 23:15:46 GMT

I can't even bring myself to even look at her anymore. Why am I so hung up? Why can't I go on? Is something really seriously wrong with me? There must be. I've never heard anything so peculiar as these words that I pen, and it is honestly disturbing me. Is this an obsession? Will it pass? These questions I cannot figure out myself, but need a second voice on. Perhaps it will aid me in my search for answers. I still love her. I know that. But is this feeling going too far? Perhaps. But then again, perhaps not. What if I can't stop? What if this progresses into something I can no longer control?? That is a deadly fear. No control. The mere thought sends a shiver through my very bones. I neither ask for nor recieve comments much, but please. They would be greatly appreciated. Desperate times stand for desperate measures.

the NEW scream movie.

Sun, 30 Apr 2006 00:43:39 GMT

headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache headache

or maybe it's just the kids.

Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in a cage.

Mon, 24 Apr 2006 04:08:51 GMT

I'm tired. I have to pee. My cat had two kittens so far. I've been online all day. I read about 40 pages of my Dracula book. I talked to Evrick. I didn't talk to Jessie. I ate cake. I finished typing for my science project. I should take a shower. I think I am going to in about a minute. I... need to stop starting every sentence with the word 'I'...?

Goodnight♥.

She's got an avalanche packed in a snowball.

Sun, 23 Apr 2006 18:50:49 GMT

I guess we should all just stop caring. For what is the point, when in the end it all comes crashing down? All that you love, care about, and cherish. Gone. Consider that next petty fight; even that can drive you over the edge and over that fucking cliff. Don't ever fall in love. Don't ever care about anything or ANYONE. Be selfish. At least then, maybe... perhaps, you won't get hurt yourself. Why do I say these things? It is because love is a spawn of all evil. It is a wretched thing that kills all that is good inside of your heart. It takes our hearts and tortures them, until they are grotesquely mutilated. That is what love can do. Consider these words.

Have you ever hitched a ride on a shooting star?

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 20:42:06 GMT

The Cure Shares Your Taste in Music

See their whole playlist here (iTunes required)

Which Musician (or Group) Shares Your Taste in Music?

Pretty soon she'll figure out what his intentions were about.

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 20:05:33 GMT

I got the icon. Look on my userpics, if you don't believe me!

My sister's friend gave me a Sugarcult shirt. I'm happy.

Ew, I've got hives again. or bites, or whatever the hell they are. Ick. I need to figure out the lifeblood of the damn itchies. When, I do it's "Asta la vista" to the motherfucker(s?). done blog♥

I just wanna break you down so badly in the worst way.

Sat, 22 Apr 2006 18:25:47 GMT

My feet are cold, and I'm very much bored. There's nothing to do really, so I'm sitting at the computer TRYING to convince Manda to give me that damn half-naked Joel icon. I haven't been successful quite just yet. EEK! I gave her about a million icons already. It's just ONE icon! AND SHE STOLE IT! GRRRR.

Whatever words I say, I will always love you.

Thu, 13 Apr 2006 01:41:19 GMT

Okay. So I'm really having a hard time dealing with this. I'm not sure how to act. I'm not sure what to say. I'm not sure what to do. I have problems, yes I do. Um, she doesn't trust me, that I'm sure of. I.. am very stubborn and get mad when people don't tell me things. So I will continue being angry until they do.. And...... I have to pee. Any advice...? *voice squeaks* help??

psh.

Sun, 09 Apr 2006 03:05:31 GMT

I was wrong. Life's a bitch.

If I were there, right now would be more radical♥♥.

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 21:10:25 GMT

YAY!!!!!

HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY HOORAY
OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG
YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY MY
LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE LIFE
IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS IS
..................................................
GREAT!

I LOVE EVERYONE. Honestly.

I'll let you know I'm yours and you are mine♥

Thu, 06 Apr 2006 06:12:05 GMT

I'm pathetic.

We ain't nothing but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the discovery channel!

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 10:23:30 GMT

Have You...
1. fallen for your best friend?: yes.
2. made out with a friend?: yes.
3. been rejected?: god damnit stfu.
4. been in lust?: sure.
5. used someone?: rephrase that.
6. been used?: always.
7. been kissed?: yes.
8. done something you regret?: not a day goes by.
Who was the last person...
9. you touched?: Katie when I kicked her ass.
10. you talked to?: Rockey.
11. you hugged?: ...........................Jess.
12. you instant messaged?: India. :]
13. you kissed?: god damnit don't make me answer this! >:[
14. you had sex with?: virgin.
15. you yelled at?: Jess.
16. you laughed with?: Jake.
17. who broke your heart?: ... *sigh*
18. who told you they loved you?: ..FUCK YOU! *it was Jess*
Do you..
19. color your hair?: Sometimes.
20. have tattoos?: Soon, my friend.
21. have piercings?: Yes.
22. have a boyfriend?: No.
23. own a webcam?: no.
24. own a thong?: mhm.
25. ever get off the computer?: If that's what I think it means!!!!! XD mhm.
Have you / do you / are you...
29. stolen anything?: no.
30. smoked?: yes.
31. schizophrenic?: I doubt that.
32. obsessive?: Only with books... and people.
33. compulsive?: Yes. I have to reassure myself often.
34. obsessive compulsive?: I'm not sure if it's to that extent.
35. panic?: You bet your fucking ass.
36. anxious?: About what? Another shitty cold cloudy day in Wisconsin? No thank you.
37. depressed?: yeah... pretty much.
38. suicidal?: I have been.
39. obsessed with hate?: No, not at the moment.
40. dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?: Do we all need to see what I posted an hour ago??
Questions..
41. if you could be anywhere, where would you be?: anywhere but home.
42. can you do anything freakish with your body?: no.
43. what facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?: eyes.
44. would you vote for a woman candidate for president?: sure, who cares?
45. would you marry for money?: I don't even know what money LOOKS like. -_-;
46. have you had braces?: No.
47. do you pluck your eyebrows?: ....now why the hell would I do that?
48. do you like hairy backs?: Are you asking me if I'd fuck a monkey? Because the answer is NO, they have aids.
49. when was the last time you had a hickey?: Maybe a month ago. Probably longer.
50. could you live without a computer?: I'd be dead.
51. do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc: AIM.
52. if so, how many people are on your list(s)?: 106.
53. if you could live in any past, where would it be?: 1952, in Pittsburgh. Making movies with Andy Warhol.
54. do you wear white socks?: I suppose so.
55. do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?: Take them off.
56. your favorite fruit?: It all tastes the same to me.
57. do you eat wheat bread or white?: wonderbread. you know, with the polka-dot package?
58. what is your favorite place to visit?: Amanda's house.
59. what is the last movie you saw?: South Park.
60. do you kiss on the first date?: I've never been on a 'date'
61. are you photogenic?: Hell no. I look gross.
62. do you dream in color or black and white?: Color. red is one of those key pigments, sadly.
63. are you wearing fingernail polish?: It's metallic blue.
64. is it chipped or fresh?: It's all fucked.
65. do you have any dimples?: I think on one cheek. I'm lame.
66. do you remember being born?: Who the hell would remember that?
67. why do you take surveys?: Because I'm an ass wad.
68. do you drink alcohol?: yes.
69. did you like or do you like high school?: Never been.
70. what is the best accent?: Australian, Mixed with Scottish, Mixed with British.... or Amanda's impression of a mexican girl doing an impression of an arabian guy doing an impression of a white guy.
71. who do you want to kiss?: Jess.
72. do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?: sunsets. Gives me hope the world might finally end.
73. do you want to live to be 100?: Hell no. I don't even think I'll hit 30.
74. is a flat stomach important to you?: Not really.
75. do you or have you played with a ouija board?: Always.
76. are you loyal?: No.
77. are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs?: If they're assholes, no.
78. when you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?: Off.
79. do you like your nose?: Whatever you were on when you made this test, I'll take double... and a shot of scotch.
80. do you think you can draw well?: I like drawing, but I can't judge.
81. at what age did you find out that Santa Clause wasn't real?: I was seven.
82. how many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?: Three: Boots, DC's, Chucks.
83. do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?: No matter.
84. do you write poetry?: I gave up when they rejected me.
85. what are you listening to?: Jack's Mannequin.
86. do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?: No matter, as long as I can fucking sleep.
87. cats/dogs?: neither. pets die.
88. do you lick stamps?: I buy the sticker kind.
89. do you use an electric can opener?: yes ma'am.
90. have you ridden in a hotair balloon?: I want to.
Random...
91. like your name?: I hate it, really. I'm named after some bitch living with her grampy and a bunch of fucking GOATS.
92. were you named after anyone?: That ill-gotten movie.
93. do you wish on stars?: always.
94. which finger is your favorite?: middle.
95. when did you last cry?: today. but the one that mattered was after the dream I had the other day.
96. do you like your handwriting: print. otherwise, never.
97. who do you admire: Amanda Kristine Rosalez. :]
98. what is the #1 priority in your life?: I don't have one. It doesn't matter.
99. what is your favorite lunchmeat?: I hate all lunchmeat.
100. any bad habits?: I can change moods dramatically at the drop of a hat.
101. what is your favorite animal?: Snow Leopards.
102. if you were another person, would you be friends with yourself?: Hell no.
103. are you a daredevil?: I live for adrenaline.
104. have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell?: I don't ever swear on anything.
105. have you ever stolen anything?: I already told you. No.
106. do looks matter?: No. But apparently, in the 'real world'
107. have you ever misused a word and it sounded absolutely stupid?: Yes.
108. do you think there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow?: I think gold is a metaphor to our own self-treasures.
109. do fish have feelings?: HELL NO. LET THEM DIE. STAB THEM, KILL THEM.
110. are you trendy?: I have no sense of style.
111. how do you release anger?: can one say "cry me a riiiiiverrrrr"?
112. where is your second home?: nowhere. outside.
113. do you trust others easily?: I don't trust, period.
114. what was your favorite toy as a child?: Pokémon cards.
115. what class in school do you think is useless?: Memory. Gym. Social Studies. Math. Science, English.... all but Reading, Spelling, and Art.
116. do you like sappy love songs?: always.
117. have you ever been on radio or television?: some kid got hit by a car in front of my house and I was on the news for a fraction of a second.
118. do you have a journal?: this is my journal.
119. do you use sarcasm a lot?: yes.
120. have you ever been in another country?: never.
121. what do you look for in a guy/girl?: I find friends in those I love.
122. what is/are your nickname(s)?: I don't have a nickname.. Manda calls me honey or sweetie sometimes?
123. would you bungee jump?: I. Live. For. ADRENALINE.
124. do you untie your shoes every time you take them off?: I have to.
125. what are you worried about right now?: School. Everything.
126. do you ever wear overalls?: no.
127. do you think you are strong?: I can be snapped like a twig.
128. what's your least favorite thing in the world?: crying.
129. how many wisdom teeth do you have?: none.
130. what would you change about yourself?: absolutely everything.
131. who are the people you care most about?: Amanda. Jess.
I...
132. see: blurry. tearing up for no reason again.
133. need: another cigarette.
134. found: eight books at a thrift store.
135. have: my computer back.
136. wish: I wasn't so complex.
137. love: Jess. But I guess that doesn't matter now.
138. hate: tears.
139. miss: amanda.
140. fear: rejection. hate. needles.
141. feel: nauseated.
142. hear: Jack's Mannequin.
143. smell: cigarettes.
144. wonder: why did they say god makes no mistakes, and I'm so fucked up?
145. regret: cutting.
146. what will you do now?: mope. brood. be pessimistic. die?

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 08:32:46 GMT

Jess dumped me.

.....I think.

Does everything bad have to happen in only but a few days?

god is a cock-sucking asshole, if he even exists.

I need a shower. and I'm hungry.

Not that I'm going to satisfy either desires.

I need a cigarette.

I've gotta stop having these dreams....

Fri, 31 Mar 2006 08:20:11 GMT

Can't sleep, so I'll blog.

She's(computer) fixed, yes, but ya know.. Doesn't really make me any happier.

The night before I fell asleep on my bed and had the scariest dream, I swear to god.

I think the dream started in my room, and it was like I was just waking up. So I sit up, and decide to call Manda. So, of course, I do so. Her mom answers, and I ask for Manda. She's really quiet for a minute or so, then I'm all "Hello....?" and she says that Manda's dead. So while I'm freaking out, she's telling me that something happened a few days prior.. and... and she.. she.. But then I was screaming, going completely insane. "Why didn't anyone tell me? Why did she? What the fuck happened!?" I remember how my lungs felt tight, like I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop crying... and I hung up and look over across the room. There, ironically, on my dresser is this blade I stole from my cousin a few days ago before this dream of mine occured. So.. I.... then I pass out on my bed.

I woke up crying my eyes out for about two hours. Just laying in my bed. and crying.

Most realistic dream I've ever had. When I woke up, I thought it really fucking happened. Had to 'check' to make sure. God, I love that girl. She's my chick pea. :'] and my best friend. That ever really happened, the dream would be carried out. Word for word, action for action.

gah, my tummy hurts.

SHHHH!!!!

Thu, 23 Feb 2006 14:56:32 GMT

*whispering* I'm not supposed to be on here, but I haven't been blogging in LJ for forever. That, and my computer is broken. I'm in computer class, and I'm online because the typing system won't go past lesson 12 (it keeps freezing). Soooooooo anywho, the NIN concert was great, and I'm looking forward to the P!@tD concert on march 19. Hopefully, my mom will buy me a new computer by then so I can tell you about it. Oh! and I have an audition tomorrow for the Milwaukee High School of the arts. I'm so nervous! ^___^ but excited. Okay, done blog.

blarghhhhhhh

Thu, 02 Feb 2006 21:30:17 GMT

my computer is dead.

I'm at school.

NOT supposed to be online. dslghdslgkhdslkhgjs

i have to go.

:-(

Tee Kay Oh-oh!

Mon, 23 Jan 2006 23:48:13 GMT

I have no idea why I'm blogging at school in a notebook, but I have nothing else to do. I really hate writing, so my hand is cramping up from lack of use. My headband is squeezing my skull and it hurts, because it's plastic and rubbing behind my ears, quite irritatedly. Lunch was nice. I had my food with about 3873489067436 packets of ketchup. Mhm. Oh shit, we have to pack up for next class period. I might blog later♥.

p.s. Barely anyone said anything about my hair. That's a good thing, on my part.

What was normal in the evening by the morning seems insane.

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 05:30:53 GMT

Today was fun.

Got report card. It was good.

Listened to Bright Eyes all day. What fun.

Blog is over♥.